Goths aren't happy people?

'Goth' youths more likely to self-harm: study"
-Yahoo News (Or as it is also known: Reuters)

FUCKING DUH! Have you ever met a Goth kid that was well adjusted? I think that's part of the definition of a Goth kid. They don't get along with most kids so they hang around in dark corners, listen to shitty metal and wear white and black makeup.
It's a prerequisite for being a Goth that you have to reach at least a 6.0 on the fucked-up-o-meter. If they did interviews to be a Goth kid, I think this is how it would go.
Interviewer: “Hi, how are you today?”
Goth Hopeful: “I feel like a rotting piece of flesh left in the bottom of the deepest sewer.”
Interviewer: “Glad to hear it, Alan.”
Goth Hopeful: “Call me Alistair.”
Interviewer: “What do you think is your most gothic quality?”
Goth Hopeful: “I hang upside down like a bat while listening to Tool. Then I usually cut myself while I watch 50’s horror movies.”
Interviewer: “My favorite is ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’. What is your least gothic quality?”
Goth Hopeful: “Sometimes I listen to Barry Manilow while I paint my nails black.”
Interviewer: “Last but not least, what do you think of your parents?”
Goth Hopeful: “They’re a bunch of capitalist, conformist shit heads living by a routine like nazis.”
Interviewer: “And your not a capitalist because you hang out at the mall and wear stuff from hot topic?
Goth Hopeful: Umm.. I gotta go. My mom’s waiting for me.”